You Just Hurt Me More
by hossiohsee
Summary: 'It's not that I hate you, it's just... I can't Kaoru.' Yea, keep on saying that, Hikaru. And you're torturing me with those words. Just why can't you understand me..? Kaoru's POV
1. Chapter 1

Author's note

Actually, this story was inspired from my RP account with one of the Hikaru(s) on facebook. Don't know why it turned out this way, though.. Anyway, please enjoy whatever I have for you guys~

Oh, and I have to tell you this, **First time writing Ouran fic, and** **English is not my mother tongue, so I should have some errors.** And if I do, please correct me. :)

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran. **If I do, why would I be writing FANfic..?

* * *

Kaoru's POV

"_It's not that I hate you, it's just… I can't, Kaoru."_

And with those words, I woke up. I could feel the sweat on my forehead and tears running down my cheeks.

I've been thinking about this for a while.

You keep on telling that you love me, and I will say the same to you.

But I know that you don't feel the same way I do.

You love me as a brother, but I love you more than that.

_Can't you understand that, Hikaru..?_

I keep on getting this recurring dream.

I told him that I love him more than as a brother, and he will give me those sad look and say,

_"I'm sorry Kaoru, but I can't feel the same like you do."_

But… why..?

Just why, Hikaru..?

* * *

Don't know how, but I managed to wake up early after seeing those horrible nightmares.

"Something wrong, Kao?"

_It's Hikaru._

"Nothing's wrong, don't worry about it, brother."

Even though it hurts, but I keep on smiling at him.

"I can tell whether you're lying or not, Kaoru," he said.

_Silence._

"It's no big deal, Hika. You're worrying too much," I said as I wave my hand in front of my face.

Then I can hear his sigh.

"Duh, of course, Kao. You're the most precious one for me, after all."

I could only smile after hearing his last statement.

* * *

When we arrived at class, I greet Haruhi like usual, then went to my desk and get seated fast. It seems that the nightmare making me feel tired. Finally, I realized that there's a note inside my desk. From its handwriting, it's definitely a girl.

'_Dear, Kaoru Hitachiin_

_ I have something to say to you in private._

_ Could you please meet me at—"_

_ "_What's that, Kao?"

"Huh? It's just a simple reminder for me, Hika."

I lied easily to him.

"Oh, is that so? I see then."

And then he focused himself to the teacher in front.

I'm sure that he knew that I was lying to him. But for now, lying is the best thing for me to do.

I already got a bad feeling about this note. I don't want to receive any confession at a time like this.

But too bad, I have to see this person later.

I regret being a host right now…

* * *

Finally, lunch time arrived. Before Hikaru could ask something to me, I ran as fast as I could to the school hall. And I see a girl, leaning against the wall, definitely waiting for somebody.

Since she didn't see me, then I think I should make a move.

"Excuse me, miss. Are you waiting for somebody..?"

She seems to be startled at my sudden show up.

"O-oh, I'm sorry Kaoru! I didn't see you before.. Um… and about that letter…"

"Yes?"

I tilted my head to a side, pretending not knowing.

"K-kaoru, actually… I had a huge crush on you. I-I would be really happy if y-you want to be my b-boyfriend…"

There was a silence for a while.

I can see that she's almost fainted from over-blushing, so I decided to answer it quickly.

"I'm sorry, but I have someone I like, err… love already. Even though I know that it's impossible for me to be with this person."

She looked up with those teary eyes. Oh, geez… Why is she crying!

"D-don't tell me that you love… your own brother..?"

_Silence._

"…Yes," I answered flatly.

She seems to be upset with my answer, so she yelled at me.

"But, WHY, Kaoru! I'M BETTER THAN HIM, THEN WHY DO YOU CHOOSE HIM OVER ME! HE DOESN'T EVEN LOVE YOU BACK!"

I felt a sting in my chest upon hearing her last statement.

'_He doesn't even love you back'_

Then I could feel anger hitting me, which lead me to a thing I'll regret later.

"SHUT UP! YOU DON'T KNOW HIM LIKE I DO, SO YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SPEAK THAT WAY! You're such an obnoxious one for a lady, and I don't even know your name! So SHUT UP and GET LOST!"

And then I mentally slapped myself for what I've said.

When I see her face, her tears running down her cheek and she's blushing furiously. She ran and cried all the way to the classroom.

What have I done..?

* * *

I felt a pang of guilt inside me, so I chose not going back to the classroom, and I think I missed almost five subjects.

I don't want to see Hikaru right now. I don't know what to say to him after all.

_ 'HE DOESN'T EVEN LOVE YOU BACK'_

I buried my face to my palms.

But suddenly, I felt my phone vibrated and when I saw the caller's ID, it's HIKARU.

Oh, gosh. What should I say to him..?

Finally, I gave up and I receive his phone call.

"H-hello, Hikaru..?"

_"WHAT THE HELL, KAORU! WHERE ARE YOU!"_

"Whoa, calm down, brother. I'm… somewhere at school right now.."

_Silence._

_ "This isn't funny, Kaoru. You make me dead worried, you know!"_

"I know, I'm sorry, Hikaru…"

_Silence again._

"Um… Hikaru, I have something I want to say to you."

_"You can just say it to me at home later, Kaoru…"_

"NO! I can't, Hikaru. Just… listen to me, okay..?"

_ "…okay."_

I take a deep breath, and I know that I'm going to regret this later. But I just want to prove that that girl was wrong.

_"…I'm waiting, Kaoru…"_

"Hikaru, I love you."

_"Well, we always say that, right..? I love you too, brother."_

I felt something stung my chest.

"N-not that kind of love, Hika… What I'm trying to say is, I-I love you more than you know. Not as a brother, but as a… lover, Hikaru…" I could feel myself shaking when I said it.

_ "…. Sorry Kaoru, but I—"_

I turned off the conversation quickly, then I remember something.

'_HE DOESN'T EVEN LOVE YOU BACK!'_

_ 'Sorry Kaoru, but I—'_

_ "I'm sorry, Kaoru. It's not that I hate you, it's just… I can't"_

Those words keep on playing inside my head like a broken tape recorder.

I pulled my knee to my face, and then I sobbed. Hoping that no one can hear me at all.

* * *

Well~

This is the first chapter, though..

First chapter of the first Ouran fic.. Sorry for OOC-ness..

I want to know what you think about it, please review!


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note:

Sorry for lateness, that's absolutely my bad.. Anyway, here's what you've been requesting for. Enjoy~

* * *

Kaoru's POV

I woke up to see that there's no one at school, and the sky had turned grey. It seems that it's already night time. I can't believe that I fell asleep because of crying! Why does it hurt so bad..?

_Rrr…rrr…rrr…_

If it's Hikaru, then I won't answer.

But it's not.

In fact, I was pretty shocked when I saw the ID, it's Kyouya-senpai.

Well, there's no choice but to respond, right..?

"H-hello..?"

_ "Kaoru? I think you missed the club activity today, right?"_

I should have known that he would be worried about that…

_ "Kaoru?"_

"Yeah, I'm sorry, senpai. I'll make it up other time."

_ "Well, depends on your excuse, I might forgive you. What happened to you?"_

**Throb.**

"S-something.." I could feel my voice shaky.

_Why does it have to hurt so bad..?_

_"Mind to elaborate?"_

I sighed to the phone.

"I don't know senpai… It's not that I don't want to tell you, but.. I don't think I will be able to tell you the story without me crying to the phone.."

**Silence.**

_"…Was it Hikaru..?"_

**Jackpot.**

"…How do you know..?"

"_Dunno. He's the only one pass through my mind. So it's true?"_

_ "_Why do you care, senpai?"

_"You should say that to Tamaki. He's then one crying non-stop because you're missing and Hikaru didn't know where you are."_

So that's why, Tono was worried. Why did I think that Hikaru would worry about me? Because I'm his twin brother? Touché.

"Oh, I see… Can I talk with Tono, senpai?"

_ "Here."_

_ "KAORU! WHERE ARE YOU! PAPA IS WORRIED ABOUT YOU, YOU KNOW!"_

"I can hear you CLEARLY, Tono. You don't have to speak with a gigaphone."

_ "I WAS WORRIED TOO MUCH, KAORU! NOW, TELL ME WHERE YOU ARE!"_

I look around and found out that it's hard to see in the dark.

"I'm… at the school hall, near the laboratory.."

"_ROGER! I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE SECONDS! DON'T BE AFRAID, KAORU!"_

_Beep… beep…_

I shut the phone and put it in my pocket.

'_Five seconds..? You gotta be kidding me. And if there's anyone who's going to be afraid, I think it's you, Tono…' _I smiled as I shook my head.

"I'M HERE KAORU!"

I stared at the source of the voice, Tono.

"KAORU, YOU ALRIGHT!"

"… You're late by two seconds, Tono.."

"…Did I..? OMG!" He said as he put an expression that looks like The Scream (I hope you know that what I meant is the painting).

"It's okay.. I don't really care about that anyway," I said as I chuckled weakly.

Did I say something wrong? Because Tono is staring at me with those sad looking eyes.

"Come on, son. Let's go home," he said.

I didn't move at all.

"…Son..?"

"I… I don't wanna go home if Hikaru's there," I said whispering.

He stared at me, eyes widening.

"Okay, then let's go home…"

"I told you—"

"…to my house," he finished his sentence.

I blinked at his statement. To Tono's house..?

"But I didn't bring any change and tomorrow is not a holiday," I tried to make excuse.

"It's okay. You can borrow my clothes for a while, and we could just laundry your uniform. It will be finished by tomorrow," he said still staring at me.

"…but…"

"Please, Kaoru..?"

"…Okay, then.."

I was kinda shocked that he didn't call me with those 'family thingy'.

_He called me by my name_

That sounds kinda weird, though..

* * *

We finally arrive at Tono's house, and now we're in his room. Well, at least far away from Hikaru..

(At least that's far for me..)

"So, did something happen this morning..?" he asked.

"Uh-huh.. Just being rejected, th_a_t's all.." I said as I get changed.

"…Wait a second. Did he reject you..? It's unbelievable!" Tono said with a weird look on his face.

"Y-yeah.. Something along that line," I replied shortly, and then I sat next to him.

"Oh, Kaoru…" he said as he pat my head gently.

I sighed.

"I know that you would pity me for what happened…"

"No, I didn't! I think you're really brave that you've confessed your love for him!"

I blinked over his statement.

"… How could it turn me into 'really brave'..?" I asked.

"Because… I couldn't even confess my love to this special person of mine."

I stared wide agape.

_Tono had a special person as well..?_

"Why are you staring at me like that..?" He asked while slightly chuckling.

"N-no. It's just… I don't think there is anyone that would dare to reject you, Tono. It's just kinda unbelievable."

Then he stared at me with those violet eyes.

They're beautiful.

Yes, they're really beautiful, but they're so sad as well.

"No, I'm sure I would be rejected, Kaoru," he said.

"Why?"

"Because it's a one-sided love."

"…She loves someone else..?"

He nodded slowly.

I look at him sadly, because I never knew that we're on the same boat.

We both love someone who doesn't return our feelings.

Somehow I felt something stung in my chest again.

"S-so…" I tried to break the ice.

"Who's the lucky person, Tono?" I asked.

He stared at me deeply.

"You."

I almost choked.

"W-what..?" I asked to make sure that I heard the right thing.

"You heard me. I love you, Kaoru Hitachiin," he said with a serious face.

I could only stare at him widely.

_Tono… loves me..?

* * *

_

Whoa, by some accident, something erased all my data.

Which means I had to retype all of them..

I'm so sorry. T^T

Well, please review, because that's the only thing that keeps me going!


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